Lilly and the Etiquette of Poop

I don't know how the rivalry started, but I remember how it ended.

Late one night I took Charlotte out to pee. In the dark a black lab stealthily creeped up to us like a panther ready to pounce. I grabbed Charlotte and held her close. I was ready for an attack. This dog sniffed a little, pooped near my feet and took off. Her mom called out, "Don't worry, it's just Lilly."

Lilly lives across the street and walks around the neighborhood off leash. A lot. Without her owners. Big dog off leash around my little dog equals nervous owner!

Charlotte would lead us across the street to eliminate. Most of the time it was near the side of the road on no ones particular property. Other times it was at Lilly's house. One time she even dropped off a pine cone near a rock, so Lilly could see it from behind her fence. It felt mocking. Or at least that's how my husband and I would talk about it.

Way to go Charlotte. You really showed her! (And then I would tell myself to get a life.)

One day I took Charlotte out to pee and she led me to Lilly's house again. In the middle of a poop Lilly's mom came out.

"Are you letting her poop right there?"

Letting her? I didn't think I had a choice. A dog's gotta go when she goes.

"I'll clean it up." Ugh. Why did I say that? Lilly comes up to our yard which is no where near the street just to poop.

"It's just that we're trying to do something with this area." What? Grow grass? We live in the forest.

I walked Charlotte home and grabbed a plastic bag. I walked back over and picked up her poop. Lilly's mom started to back down.

"Oh, you don't have to do that. It's so small, it's really not a big deal."

"No, I understand," I said. "We're trying to do something with our yard too and Lilly walks up there to poop sometimes."

"Oh. I didn't know. I'll try to keep her from doing that."

Charlotte and I walked away. I felt bad. I've lived in this neighborhood nine years and the first time I talk to this neighbor is about our dog's poop. Nice.

I took Charlotte around the block to clear my head. I need to make this right. I don't want to be that neighbor that lets her dog poop anywhere and isn't friendly.

We made our way back to Lilly's house where my neighbors sat on their porch.

"Hey, I think we got off to a bad start talking about our dog's poop. I'm Julia and this Charlotte."

We must have talked for 15 minutes about our pups, work, and her husband's terminal illness. They're no longer just Lilly's parents. They have names and stories.

And I'm no longer imagining a rivalry. I also pick up  my dog's poop.

Emotional Decision

First Day Together

I don't know why most people adopt puppies. I only know why I adopted Charlotte. I try to be very practical in my decision making and she was completely an emotional decision.

Last July my husband and I decided it was time to expand our family. I got pregnant right away. Our babe was scheduled to arrive near the end of his master's program, just in time to help us usher into a new season of life. One where I would work less than full time, join MOPS and speak baby babble.

At my first appointment I was 10 weeks. There was no heartbeat. There was no baby.

To say that I was devestated would be an understatement. I never understood the all encompassing pain that comes with losing a child. A child that was planned. Wanted. Loved.

We waited the obligatory 2-3 cycles to try again. I got through the holidays with family and put on a brave face when well wishers told me "everything happens for a reason," or "God has a plan" or "God is in control." All of those statements fell on deaf ears and rang hollow. Meaningless.

Once we tried for the second time I got pregnant right away. But this time was different. This time my innocence was gone. Every twinge or odd sympton had my mind racing. Google became my frenemy. I imagined the worst but hoped for the best.

At my first appointment I was 8 weeks. There was no heartbeat. There was no baby.

There are no answers for why this happened. It's only been a couple months and I'm not interested in finding out right now. It could be serious. It could be chromosomal abnormalities. This time less people knew so there were no well wishers.

I'd like to think that grief really does come in stages and that I've gone through them with ease, marking time until we can try again. But the fact is grief is messy. Grief is embarrassing. It doesn't have respect for the fact that I have a full time job. It doesn't care that I have company coming over. It shows up in public and makes a mess of things. It opened up my life to those that may or may not be careful with it. It's an ongoing process that comes in waves. Today I'm okay with the fact that I don't have a baby. Tomorrow I might not be. It's just that simply complicated.

So when my husband told me he wanted to get me a puppy I jumped at the offer. Charlotte has been the greatest distraction and the biggest reason I know I'm capable of love.

Best emotional decision ever.

Nightmare Dog?

Charlotte learning to sit

Training Charlotte to pee and poop outside, or as it's officially called "eliminate", seemed like the most daunting challenge. How was I supposed to get a dog to tell me she had to go to the bathroom?

I spent the first weekend trying to anticipate her every move, analyze every squat and spraying A LOT of Nature's Miracle on the carpet. Charlotte's bladder must be the size of a grape! Maybe smaller. I knew I had to get this potty training thing down...fast!

I went to PetSmart to buy a pee pad and ended up talking to one of the employees. After getting some advice, I enrolled Charlotte into Puppy Training School. I knew about puppy training from my friend, Hillary, who took her dog Colt. After he was trained I heard her sternly yell "Leave it" many times. I vaguely knew what that meant and wanted to learn more. I can't have a "nightmare dog!" This term was how I got my husband on board with this six week course. Operation "No Nightmare Dog" was about to begin.

Disclaimer: I don't work for PetSmart. I'm sure other places train dogs well. Don't take my advice. Seek the advice of a professional. :)

We walked into Puppy School on that first night with no idea what to expect. We were met by five other families. I only know them by the names of their dogs because that's what happens. There was Gibs, a huge wolf-like dog with a bit of a temper who tried to attack every dog that walked by. Charlotte looked like a tiny bunny compared to his immense size. If he hadn't been on a leash she would have been dinner. Rio, a little black mutt with matted hair and a lot of energy. He was only a couple pounds bigger than my pup and the best opportunity for a playmate. Katie, a lethargic English Bulldog who was just flown in from another location. She slept through that first class and gained about 10 pounds every week. Lilly, a carmel colored Boxer with a sweet face, wore a pink diamond studded collar. Mello, a sweet natured mutt who lives up to her name. I found myself wishing Charlotte had her disposition. And Charlotte, the smallest of the bunch. They looked like some rag tag group of canines ready to play an unconventional gang in a hollywood movie where they befriend an orphan.

Our first order of business was...Get your puppy to learn her name. What?! That's not why I came here! How do I potty train? How do I get her to sleep through the night?

But if Charlotte didn't know her name I wouldn't be able to teach her anything. We had to start at the very beginning. I would say her name and give her a treat every time she looked at me.

The other bit of wisdom that has stayed with me: Your will has to be stronger than her will. This consistency thing was going to kill me if I didn't embrace it. It was time for me to grow up and take care of this pup.

Have you ever had a nightmare dog? Tell me about it.

Worst Pets Ever

Guinea pig. Turtles. Fish. Silk worms.

What do these animals have in common?

They were my childhood pets. The guinea pig, specifically, was mine for a short period of time before I realized I was completely allergic to her. She was also really boring for a young girl. I watched her sit in her cage and ...well, that was it. I eventually gave her to a preschool class.

The other animals aren't worth talking about. The turtles were eaten by raccoons. The fish eventually had to be flushed. The soft silk worms turned into nasty, dusty moths and flew away.

Every member of my family is allergic to at least one real pet with fur. Cats. Dogs. Guinea pigs.

My mom would load me and my siblings up on Benadryl to prepare for sleepovers or even just a BBQ.

Better than a bunny

My best friend, Steph, practically grew up on a farm they had so many animals. I was in LOVE with her rabbit! But, Joey would not sit still long enough for a short cuddle. And then I had to wash my hands immediately after contact.

You can imagine my joyful, yet skeptical surprise, when I found out about hypoallergenic dogs. A dog that doesn't shed or cause sneezing, itching or watery eyes?! Where can I get such a creature? (This was before the internet.)

It wouldn't be until years later that I finally adopted little Charlotte. I'm not a dog person. So this has been interesting...

First Time Dog Owner

I'd really like to get you a puppy for your birthday.

Really?

My sweet husband of almost nine years said this to me after many years of thinking of all the reasons NOT to get a dog. I started looking for my pup right away. Two day days later I came across an ad for a Maltese puppy. I was sent this picture via text.




Baby Charlotte



How could I not visit this sweet baby girl? I knew I would take this tiny two pound bundle of cuteness home. Thus began our adventures in raising Charlotte, the sweet pup that has changed my life.

This blog is dedicated to my family. For the next year I will share about Charlotte and new beginnings. I hope you will join me.